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These
divrei Torah were adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi Yissocher
Frand’s Commuter Chavrusah Series on the weekly portion: #1144 –
Supporting Someone To Sit and Learn: Must He Be Altruistic? Good Shabbos!
Chazal say that the
reason Yaakov Avinu bowed towards the head of the bed (Bereshis 47:31) is
because the Shechina
(Divine Presence) is present above the head of a sick person. For that
reason, despite the fact that he was sick and weak, Yaakov Avinu turned
around and bowed towards the head of his bed.
I saw an
interesting observation in a sefer called Tiv haTorah: Why is it that the
Shechinah
is on the top of the bed of a sick person? The Tiv haTorah suggests that
when a person is lying sick in bed, he may think that perhaps the Ribono shel Olam has
abandoned him—that He is angry with him and punishing him. Chazal say
that this is not the attitude a person should have. A person should have
the attitude that despite my illness and despite my suffering, the Ribono
shel Olam does not hate me. There must be some reason why the Ribono shel Olam
wants me to experience this, either as a kaparah, or for whatever reason it may
be, but this is for my own good. Therefore, Chazal say: You should know that here
in this debilitating state, the Ribono
shel Olam is with you! Don’t give up hope, don’t feel
abandoned, and don’t feel like an outcast. For this reason, the Shechina hovers over
the head of the sick patient.
The Tiv haTorah
cites a story of a Jew named Rav Tzvi Kowalsky. (I happen to have known
him. He was a nephew of a certain long-time fund raiser for the Ner
Israel Rabbinical College. Rav Tzvi used to come visit his uncle and I
developed a connection with him.) He was a big Talmid Chochom. At
one time, he learned b’chavrusa
with the Chazon Ish. He was the Rosh Kolel of the Socatchover Kollel in
Bnei Brak. He was literally a holy man. At the end of his life, he was
quite sick and suffered a lot. When people would come in to him, they
would give him “kvitlach”
(small pieces of paper with short prayers and the person’s name), which
he would take and put on the top of his bed.
He said it was like
putting “kvitlach”
into the cracks between the stones of the Kosel haMaaravi. Just like Chazal say
that the Shechina
never departed from the Kosel
Hamaaravi (Western Wall), so too the Shechina is present
above the bed of a sick person. This is the Kosel, right here! The Shechina is here!
The point we are
trying to convey is that a person, despite his illness, should never feel
abandoned by Hashem.
Why is Hashem
doing this? We don’t know the answer to that. But we can rest assured
that it is not because He has abandoned us, and therefore the Shechina resides
above the bed of a sick person.
Never Forgetting to be Appreciative
The pasuk says “The eyes
of Israel were heavy because of age; he was not able to see and he
brought them near to him and he kissed them and hugged them.” (Bereshis
48:10) Yosef came into his father with his two sons, Menashe and Ephraim.
“Yaakov told Yosef, ‘I did not ever expect to see your face (again) and
now Elokim
has shown me also your children.'” (Bereshis 48:11)
However, it is
striking to realize that this is occurring seventeen years after Yaakov
Avinu was reunited with Yosef, upon his arrival in Mitzrayim! Yet
seventeen years later, Yaakov Avinu is still commenting to Yosef that he
never expected to see him. In Parshas VaYigash, Yaakov tells Pharaoh he
is 130 years old (Bereshis 47:9). Yaakov is now 147. So why is Yaakov
suddenly saying here “I did not even expect to see you, Hashem has been so
good to me that He has shown me also your children”? That is old news!
Why does he mention it now?
The answer is that
for most people, something that happened seventeen years ago is old news.
Despite how great an experience may have been, as time goes on, our
nature is to forget favors. People forget how amazed and thrilled they
were at the time when good things happened to them.
Do we remember our
weddings and how grateful we were that we got married? Do we remember the
birth of our first child? Do we remember how thrilled we were when we
were zoche
to march our children down to the chuppah?
Yes, we remember, but it becomes old news. Perhaps these events come to
mind on an anniversary, but the excitement of the moment certainly fades
with time.
The pasuk is saying that
for Yaakov Avinu, despite the fact that this happened seventeen years
ago, he was in constant thanksgiving mode to the Ribono shel Olam
every single day. He is still thanking Hashem
for what happened when he first came to Egypt. It was constantly on his
mind!
Understanding Yaakov’s Bracha to Yosef
The following is an
observation I heard in the name of Rav Shmuel Berenbaum, z”l, the Rosh
Yeshiva in the Mir Yeshiva in Brooklyn, NY.
In Parshas Vayechi,
when Yaakov is on his death bed, he calls in his sons and gives each of
them brachos.
Some of them do not exactly sound like blessings. However, they are all brachos. As we have
said many times, the biggest bracha
that someone can give to another person is to point out to him his
strengths and weaknesses. The person should know what he should do with
his life, what abilities he has and where he needs to improve himself.
That, in effect, was what Yaakov was doing here.
Even to Reuvain,
Shimon, and Levi, who had their foibles pointed out to them, that in
itself is a bracha.
He was telling them that they have these character traits, and this is
something that they need to work on in the future. Chazal say that Shimon
and Levi were zealots, and that Yaakov Avinu pointed it out to them.
Levi, at least, was able to perfect his attribute of zealotry. That is
why Levi, at the time of the aveira
(Sin) of the Egel
Hazhav (Golden Calf) stood up for that which was right. That
is why Moshe Rabbeinu was able to praise Levi and say about that shevet (tribe) “Who
said to his father and mother ‘I did not see him’ and his brother he did
not recognize and his children he did not know for they observed Your
Word and kept Your Covenant” (Devarim 33:9).
There is a common
denominator to all of these brachos
(even though some of them sound like brachos
and some almost sound like klalos),
which is pointing out the natural strengths and abilities of each
individual shevet
and suggesting what they should do with their lives. That is the biggest bracha that a person
can give someone else.
In Yehudah, Yaakov
sees Royalty (Malchus).
In Yissachor, he sees Torah Study. In Dan, he sees the ability to judge.
All this is well and good until we get to Shevet Yosef. By Shevet Yosef, it does
not seem—at first blush—like Yaakov is mentioning any of Yosef’s
strengths. “Yosef is a charming child…. The daughters of Egypt used to
climb up on the walls of Egypt to gaze at his beauty (Rashi).” (Bereshis
49:22) It seems that Yaakov is saying, l’Havdil,
that Yosef is gorgeous. He has the looks of a celebrity, and he was
treated like a celebrity!
This is how we talk
about a Jewish child? Have you ever heard someone praise a choson like that?
One might say he is smart, he is personable, he is clever, but would we
praise a choson
by saying “He is drop-dead good-looking!”? Nobody talks like that. This
is not Jewish speech. Where is the description of Yosef’s personality
traits? Where are the qualities of his soul mentioned?
Yaakov’s ‘bracha’ to Yosef
continues: “They embittered him and became antagonists; the masters of
arrows hated him.” (Bereshis 49:23). Rashi explains: He was hated by his
brothers who were sharp tongued like an arrow. Put it together: What is
the praise of Yosef? He is gorgeous. He is handsome. All the girls swoon
for him. And you know what? His brothers hated him.
Where are his
strengths mentioned? Where do we see his techunos ha’nefesh (innermost
qualities)?
Rav Shmuel
Berenbaum said a very interesting thing, which is very relevant and very
current. People gravitate to people who love them, admire them, and
consider them important. People tend to part company from people who
don’t treat them nicely, are not kind to them, and don’t appreciate them.
In what context did Rav Shmuel Berenbaum say this? We are painfully aware
of a plague that has affected our community in recent decades—the
phenomenon of the drop-out youth, the ‘off-the-derech‘ children,
children who are raised in what seem to be wonderful homes, but for some
reason, throw it all away. They leave a Torah lifestyle and hang out on
the streets with the worst of people.
This is a very
complex situation which can have numerous causes. But Rav Shmuel
Berenbaum said that sometimes the reason for this situation is that—for
some reason—the child does not feel loved by his family, by his own
peers, and by frum
society. On the other hand, he feels that the kids on the street love
him. They treat him nicely. They treat him with respect. So where is he
going to go? In my school, they sometimes treat me like dirt. My parents
are always down my throat. Nobody loves me. ‘They’ (on the ‘street’) love
me. SO where does he go? Human nature is for people to gravitate to and
associate with other people who they feel love them and appreciate them.
Now we understand
the bracha
of Yosef, and we understand his kochos
(strengths): His brothers hated him. The brothers represented frum society. They
slandered him. He came to Egyptian society and the girls are swooning
over him. ‘Everybody loves me here.’ What might we expect of a lesser
individual? “I am going to chuck this Yiddishkeit
thing! Who needs it? My brothers treat me like mud, and these Egyptian
girls can’t get enough of me.”
What did Yosef do?
He remained a faithful Jew. He remained steadfast to his religion, in
spite of the fact that the girls swooned and the brothers hated him. That
is kochos ha’nefesh
(strength of character) and commitment. This is the same strength of
character that allowed him to withstand the temptations of the wife of
Potiphar. That is what Yaakov Avinu was telling us in his bracha. He was
describing the strength of his son Yosef. In spite of the fact that the
girls climbed up on the wall to see him, in spite of the fact that he was
loved by them, and in spite of the fact that he was hated by his
brothers, nevertheless he remained an honest and faithful Jew.
Transcribed by
David Twersky; Jerusalem DavidATwersky@gmail.com
Technical
Assistance by Dovid Hoffman; Baltimore, MD dhoffman@torah.org
This week’s
write-up is adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi Yissochar Frand’s
Commuter Chavrusah Series on the weekly Torah portion. A listing of the
halachic portions for Parshas Vayechi is provided below:
- # 037 – Establishing Time of Death
- # 079 – The Yissocher-Zevulun Partnership
- # 128 – The Sandik
- # 175 – Embalming, Autopsies, and
Cremation
- # 221 – Exhumation: When Is it Permitted?
- # 265 – Yahrtzeit
- # 311 – Funerals in Halacha
- # 355 – Asarah B’Teves
- # 399 – Baruch Shem K’vod Malchuso L’Olam
Voed
- # 443 – Aveilus Issues
- # 487 – Determining Date of Moshiach’s
Arrival
- # 531 – Burial in Eretz Yisroel
- # 575 – Honoring an Older Brother
- # 619 – Fulfilling the Wishes of the
Deceased
- # 663 – Belief in the Coming of Moshiach
- # 707 – Fasting on a Yahrzeit
- # 751 – The Rabbi: Master Or Slave?
- # 795 – Hatoras Nedorim – How Specific
Must You Be?
- # 839 – Buying Cemetery Plot – Investing
in Real Estate for Long Term
- # 883 – Evil Intentions – Do They Matter?
- # 927 – Yissocher – Zevulun Revisited
- # 970 – Being A Sandek – Does It Really
Make You Wealthy?
- #1014 – Will We Make Pesach When Mashiach
Comes?
- #1058 – Bentching Your Children on Friday
Nights
- #1101 – Grandfather or Great Grandfather –
Who Should be Sandek?
- #1144 – Supporting Someone To Sit and
Learn: Must He Be Altruistic?
- #1187 – Can You Be Sandek More Than Once?
- #1231 – Day of Death or of Funeral?
Customs and other Yahrtzeit Issues
- #1275 – I Don’t Want Hespedim at my Levaya
– Must We Obey?
- #1319 – Honoring Your Parents Wishes After Their
Death: How Far Must You Go?
- #1363 – Lesser of Two Evils: Being Buried
in Non-Jewish Cemetery vs. Cremation – Which Is It?
- #1407 – Asking Mechila From An Offended Friend
– Personally Or Through An Intermediary?
- #1451 – Burial in Eretz Yisrael – Is It
Always A Good Idea?
- #1495 – Are You Ever Allowed to Argue with
Your Father?
A complete
catalogue can be ordered from the Yad Yechiel Institute, PO Box 511,
Owings Mills MD 21117-0511. Call (410) 358-0416 or e-mail tapes@yadyechiel.org or visit http://www.yadyechiel.org/ for
further information.
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