KabbalaOnline.org "From Bleached-Blond Princess to Queen Mother" Story #1318
KabbalaOnline.org "From Bleached-Blond Princess to Queen Mother" Story #1318
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From the desk of Yerachmiel Tilles< editor@ascentofsafed.com>
Story #1318 (5783-25) 20 Adar 5783 (March 13, 2023)
Discover! the "TillesTells Saturday Night Stories” WhatsApp group
Dedicated
in honor of
SILVIA
SIGHINOLFI
on
the occasion of her birthday today.
Wishing
her great success in the coming year - materially and spiritually
with
much revealed good.
Mazal
Tov!
FROM BLEACHED-BLOND PRINCESS TO QUEEN MOTHER
From beauty pageants to the silver
screen, I ultimately hit the jackpot.
Kaila Lasky wasn't always my name. I came into the world as Kelly
Dianne Scott – double-L, double-N, double-T. This name was not only designed to
sound as non-Jewish as possible, but was carefully calibrated to look
symmetrical up on the marquee. I kid you not.
Even before I was born, the plan was
for me to be a star.
By age 3, I was having my hair
bleached blonder and competing in beauty pageants: Little Miss America, Little
Miss Half Pint. At age 9, I was performing in local theater, and at 12 I gained
early admission to the High School for Performing Arts in Manhattan (of the Fame
movies and TV series).
Throughout my childhood, I absorbed
the message that everything important about me was on the outside and
everything I could possibly want in life was somewhere "out there."
This ideology was reinforced at
Performing Arts, where all of us aspiring actors, dancers and musicians shared
the dream of being rich, famous, talented, powerful and gorgeous. What mattered
was how we looked, how we performed, and how loud the applause.
At 14, I costarred in a
groundbreaking film about homelessness and kindness called The Shopping Bag Lady, directed by Academy Award winner Bert Salzman. By then my
stage name was Holly Scott. (Kelly was a little too Irish Catholic, even for
me.) The movie gave me the golden ticket to show business with membership in
the Screen Actors Guild and all other theatrical unions.
I continued working in film, TV and
theater in New York for the next 13 years, yet it remained for me a sideline.
My mantra was “money can buy happiness” and the starving actors' life was just
not for me. I didn’t want to wait on tables and live in a shabby, walk-up
apartment in the Bronx. I wanted a first-class life in Manhattan, with a
doorman and concierge, on the Upper East Side.
To get these big bucks I used my
charm and went into sales – first selling ridiculously expensive clothing and
then real estate. By age 22, I was leasing director for RiverTower in Sutton
Place, "the most expensive rental building in Manhattan."
Tenants included Robert Redford,
Saudi royalty and boldface names in international society, entertainment and
finance. Finally, I thought, this is where I belong. If I can sit at Vera
Wang's table in Southampton, hang out with Prince Dimitri of Yugoslavia, walk
the red carpet at the Costume Institute Ball at the Met, and vacation in
Marrakech, Paris and London, then I'll have truly made it.
I did all these things and more. I
got the Upper East Side apartment with a swimming pool on the roof and an
enormous wrap-around terrace where I threw champagne-fueled soirees for the
beautiful crowd. There were black tie events, VIP rooms, seaplanes, cigarette
boats, and a presidential inaugural ball. It was glamorous, fun and exciting.
Looking from the outside, one could say I had it all.
So why, when the last guest had left
the terrace, or the club closed, or the vacation ended, did I feel so empty
inside? Where was the satisfaction and peace? When the music stopped, I was
alone with myself. The emptiness and void was unbearable at times. Something
huge was missing in my life, but I didn't know what it was or where to find it.
So I kept pushing forward, hoping that the next vacation, relationship or
luxury purchase would be the answer.
It was during this whirlwind that I
made my first fragile connection with Judaism.
* *
*
Growing up, Judaism simply wasn't
relevant. After my grandfather died when I was five, it was out with almost
everything Jewish. We’d light
Chanukah candles and then go to our Christian friends' house for gifts
around the tree. We attended a Passover Seder (the kind that gets
shorter every year: Dayeinu!) and ate bagels. For most of my life, that
was the sum total of my Jewish connection.
And yet, my non-Jewish name
notwithstanding, I had always felt Jewish in my heart. So at age 20, when I
first heard about the High
Holidays , I had a fleeting thought of attending services. But none of my
friends were going and I heard you had to have tickets, so… it would be another
five years till I made it to a Rosh Hashana service.
That experience went on for hours and
was entirely in a foreign language, yet something struck a chord. Memories of
going to synagogue with my grandfather brought me back to a time when I felt
safe and part of something important and special.
I had been living half a life,
disconnected from the essential part of myself, and it was failing me. I knew
in precise detail what kind of house I wanted to live in, what kind of car I
wanted to drive, and what kind of salary I wanted to earn. But what kind of
person did I want to be? What did I stand for? What did I believe in? These
were questions I’d never much considered.
I began attending some evening
classes in Manhattan, and as I learned more about my Judaism, I slowly
dispelled the stereotypes and misconceptions I was holding onto, like the
belief that Judaism regards women as second-class citizens. Although I didn't
know any religious Jewish women, I was certain they were all barefoot, pregnant
and chained to the stove. Someone needed to rescue them, educate them, liberate
them. It turns out I was dead wrong about that (I met observant Jewish women
who were doctors, lawyers, corporate execs) and about many other things.
I began to study Torah in depth, one
verse at a time. It was an intellectual adventure unlike any I had ever
experienced. I found out about many Jewish holidays that I'd never heard of. I
discovered Shabbat, the weekly dinner party with fine china, gourmet
food and wine. I loved the conversation that moved beyond gossip, fashion and
politics.
Above all, I found an atmosphere in
these homes that was so much more peaceful than the frenetic lifestyle I was
leading. Husbands and wives interacted with love and respect. The children were
intelligent, respectful and refined. They were unlike any kids I'd ever met.
I will never forget turning to my
mother at the Passover Seder we attended at the rabbi's house and saying,
"Someday, I want to have kids like these." If you had known me then,
you'd have laughed out loud. My life was so far removed from this family's reality
that there was no possible way I would ever have children like these (if I'd
even have kids at all).
This was all incredibly compelling –
but I was like a "Judaism tourist": a nice place to visit, but I
don't want to live there. I had been focused on externalities for 25 years, and
just because I discovered my inner dimension, a soul that longed for truth and
beauty and meaning, didn't mean it had any muscle whatsoever.
My attitude was more like the Billy
Joel song: "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints –
the sinners are much more fun!"
The pull in my old direction was just
too strong. One Friday night I was invited to a rabbi's magical Shabbos table
and got a call to attend the Saudi princess's birthday party in Miami. It was
no contest and I was on the next plane.
Who knows what kind of life I would
have today if the two parallel worlds I was straddling hadn't come crashing
together.
* *
*
My friend tried to set me up on a
blind date with a guy who was not only "orthodox" but lived in –
gulp! – Buffalo. I had zero interest. I put it off for four months and then
finally agreed to a mercy date just to satisfy this friend who kept pushing the
match.
When I came down to my lobby
expecting to meet the pasty-faced, clammy-handed, hunched-over religious guy,
imagine my astonishment when I saw an Adonis in blue jeans and a white jacket
posed like Rodin's "The Thinker" on my lobby chair. OMG, that
can't be him.} But it was! From the start I was amazed that he really
wanted to get to know me, inside and out.
But orthodox?! I was totally
irreligious when we met and he had been keeping Shabbat and kosher for many
years. At the same time, he had been on tour with the Rolling Stones, acted in
a few movies, and was a successful businessman. He had it all: the flash and the
substance, the physical and spiritual, body and soul. Who could resist such a
package? Not me.
Three months later, we were engaged,
and four months later I was on a yacht, circling Manhattan, starring in the
role of my life at my own big fat Jewish wedding. I was sailing off into the
sunset to begin on-the-job training as an observant Jewish woman.
My first real hurdle to clear was
this vague sense that living a Torah life was all about obligations and
responsibilities. I’m not so altruistic and I wanted to know: What’s in it for
me?
Once I got into it, being observant
wasn't at all what I expected. I thought it would be an interesting, if perhaps
burdensome addition to my "real" life. But I discovered that Torah
all those "rules and regulations" turned out to be time-tested tools
for success in the most important areas of my life: relationships, parenting,
and handling all kinds of challenges. Torah gave me tools for attaining true
inner peace, balancing home and career, and for keeping the romance alive in marriage,
decade after decade.
I took my time growing into Jewish
observance, moving at my own pace. Judaism is not an all-or-nothing
proposition .
And the more I observed, the more I
came to appreciate the many layers of depth behind it all. Now [5773/2013] my
husband jokes that I'm too religious for him!
It turns out that the fulfillment I
was looking for all those years wasn't somewhere "out there." It was
right inside me all the time.
As for those children I wished for at
the Seder? Believe it or not, I have four just like them. I feel like a real
queen and am incredibly grateful for it all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Source : Excerpted by Yerachmiel Tilles from “Shabbos Stories
for Parshas Va’eira 5773” (January
12, 2012) based on an article on Aish.com.
Connection: This week we read the
last sections of Shmot (Book of Exodus), which concludes with a
reckoning and detailed accounting of all that was invested in fulfilling G-d's
commandment to build the Sanctuary, the predecessor to the First Holy Temple in
Jerusalem nearly one thousand years later. Similarly, G-d expects each of us to
do a periodic spiritual account and reckoning, such as described in this story.
Editor's note : Stay tuned for the story of Kaila's husband and his
startling encounter with the Lubavitcher Rebbe, It will be featured in story
#s1320 - i.e. in two weeks!
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Prayer Request
Our Prayer and hope: All the gates to the Har ha-Bait have to be opened for Jews and non-Jews seven days in the week 24 hours a day. The Jews need to have the freedom to go with Tefillin, Tallit and Torah Scroll up on the Mountain to serve Hashem. And do קידה ('Kidah' prostate, laying down, before Hashem) Everyone showing his/her respect for the Jewish and all other religions. But NOT for the words/deeds/sins spoken against any word of the Torah of Moshe Rabbeinu and the 'real' teachings of the Jewish Rabbis. The Jews must be the guardians of the Har ha-Bait.
תפילתנו ותקוותנו: כל שערי הר הבית צריכים להיפתח עבור יהודים ולא-יהודים שבעה ימים בשבוע 24 שעות ביממה. ליהודים צריך להיות חופש ללכת עם תפילין, טלית וספר תורה במעלה ההר כדי לשרת את ה' ולקוד קידה .מתוך הפגנת כבוד ליהודים ולכל הדתות האחרות, אבל לא למילים/למעשים/לחטאים הנאמרים נגד תורת משה רבנו. מלמודי רבנים, היהודים חייבים להיות שומרי הר הבית.
Let's pray for a death sentence for the Palestinian Authority, Hamas, Hezbollah and for the continuation of the Jewish settlement in Judea and Samaria. The Palestinian Authority, Hamas and Hezbollah must disappear. Enough of the hatred from the world (the USA, the European Union, and the UN!) against the Jewish people.
בואו נתפלל לגזר דין מוות לרשות הפלסטינית, חמאס, חיזבאללה ולהתיישבות יהודית ביהודה ושומרון. הרשות הפלסטינית, חמאס וחיזבאללה חייבים להעלם. די לשנאה מהעולם (ארה"ב, האיחוד האירופי והאו"ם!) נגד העם היהודי!
The Jews have the mission to change the Har HaBait, from her situation now, into a Prayer House for all peoples based on the Torah Law of Moshe Rabbeinu.
על היהודים מוטלת המשימה לשנות את הר הבית, ממצבו הקיים, לבית תפילה לכל העמים על פי חוק התורה של משה רבנו.
Ariel, hopefully your Representee
אריאל, מקווה שהנציג שלך
Our Prayer and hope: All the gates to the Har ha-Bait have to be opened for Jews and non-Jews seven days in the week 24 hours a day. The Jews need to have the freedom to go with Tefillin, Tallit and Torah Scroll up on the Mountain to serve Hashem. And do קידה ('Kidah' prostate, laying down, before Hashem) Everyone showing his/her respect for the Jewish and all other religions. But NOT for the words/deeds/sins spoken against any word of the Torah of Moshe Rabbeinu and the 'real' teachings of the Jewish Rabbis. The Jews must be the guardians of the Har ha-Bait. | תפילתנו ותקוותנו: כל שערי הר הבית צריכים להיפתח עבור יהודים ולא-יהודים שבעה ימים בשבוע 24 שעות ביממה. ליהודים צריך להיות חופש ללכת עם תפילין, טלית וספר תורה במעלה ההר כדי לשרת את ה' ולקוד קידה .מתוך הפגנת כבוד ליהודים ולכל הדתות האחרות, אבל לא למילים/למעשים/לחטאים הנאמרים נגד תורת משה רבנו. מלמודי רבנים, היהודים חייבים להיות שומרי הר הבית. |
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Ariel, hopefully your Representee | אריאל, מקווה שהנציג שלך |
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